The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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