Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
being pregnant is like rehab
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
