Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Congratulations! We have a period
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
