remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
