...so i touched it.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
