I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
