so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
