My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
