he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I had to cum in my sink.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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