I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
