Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
