I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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