your room smells of hookers.
And success
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
