it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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