she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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