Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
