i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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