it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
