thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
