My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
