Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
do nipples grow back?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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