I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i permit you to call me
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize