covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
