last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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