What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
