i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
