john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
