the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
