somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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