If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
