our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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