I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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