in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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