I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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