i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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