So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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