nut hugger
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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