Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
