Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
