Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
