fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
