have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm at about main and main street
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
