Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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