Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
