Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm jealous of your bromance
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
