I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
