I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
