Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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