I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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