whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
