My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
