Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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