how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
