There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
