Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
