So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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