I haven't been this sober since birth.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
