My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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