waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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