There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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