My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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