every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
